Days With Daddy

 I didn't post yesterday as I was not in a good head space.  Dad and I had another spat, this time at the hospital.  I told him he treats and talks to everyone else better than he does me.  His response, "Oh yeah, right."  Anyways, we didn't really speak the whole way home other than a few words here and there.  I don't like arguing with Dad.  I don't like division.  He feels like I treat him like an invalid and that we don't "let" him do things on his own.  I asked him what he does for himself?  He tells me to get his coffee and fix his food (at the hotel - at home he will fix his own coffee).  I think a talk with Tim this morning helped me to reframe things mentally. The visit yesterday was uneventful in and of itself.  He had labs and then got his azacitidine.  Beyond that, the nurse came in again for that study to ask Dad a bunch of questions.  We have a difference of opinion on some of Dad's responses to how he is doing versus how he thi

 I don't know what I expected; I know what I'd hoped...that this time together would help us grow closer, but it has not. This morning Dad was "commenting" (I say griping) about how things are done at this hospital versus the other one in New Bern.  I know he's tired of being here.  I am too, but complaining about things isn't helping anything.  He got upset that I said he was griping.  Then he got upset at me later because he said I was making something out of nothing when he was unable to put his watch on due to swelling in his lower arm/wrist area.  I mentioned that we should tell the nurse.  He got upset with me saying that they knew he had swelling in the upper arm yesterday from the bandage and it's their job to do something about it if it was a big deal and since they didn't do anything yesterday, it's not a big deal.  I said we didn't know he had swelling all the way down there and that WE don't know what's a big deal or not a b

 Dad gets up so early!  It wouldn't have been bad except I foolishly stayed up watching a movie I'd started yesterday at chemo (Break Every Chain).  I figured since we didn't have to be at chemo until a bit later today, we could hopefully sleep in a little bit.  Alas, that was a nice thought LOL. We had our breakfast and went back to sleep for a bit.  We headed to chemo where Dad got another unit of blood.  Tomorrow we don't have to be there until 12. While we were at our appointment (before and during), Dad or I had our church service pulled up so we could watch/listen to Tim.  Dad was all excited because he got a peek at Carol when they were doing communion.  I'm happy he has someone who brings him joy, especially during this crazy time in his life. While I am glad I'm here with Dad, this experience is a pretty lonely one.  Dad is doing well with the chemo so far, but like right after dinner each night, he goes into his room, shuts his door and either watches

  Today we had a later start as well.  The good news was that despite Dad having increased his chemo pills to four last night, he had NO side effects.  I was thrilled and surprised at the same time.  The bummer, though, was that Dad barely slept.  I'm not sure if it was the chemo, the fact that he hasn't had any type of sleeping pill in about a week, or that his IV line is now in the bend of his arm, making it difficult to find a comfortable sleeping position.  We got up a little later, 7'ish.  I went and got us both two cups of coffee and came back and got our breakfasts ready.  He then went back to bed for a while. We headed for the hospital about 10:45 or so.  This time, instead of having to check in downstairs as usual, we just went straight up to the third floor to the infusion section.  There were not very many patients there, which was nice.  We got called back a LOT sooner and were in a private room this time, which was nice!  There was even a recliner for me instea

  Today was yet another long day, but we got to start later than on other days.  He had gotten up in the middle of the night to use the restroom and told me then that he wasn't sure if it was due to the chemo, but that he'd had some whole-body bone and joint pain for a little bit.  He only told me later in the morning that it was for several hours in the night and that it hurt him to even move.  That's on only 2 pills.  I immediately Googled the side effects of the chemo, and that is, in fact, one of the side effects, but it also said to let the doctor know immediately.  Since at that time, I only thought he had it for a very brief time, I let it ride until after he told me in the morning that it had lasted several hours, making it hard for him to sleep. Because of the pain and difficulty sleeping, we got up a bit later today...that's to say 7 a.m. instead of 6.  He took a shower and went to sleep.  When he woke up later, I fixed us some breakfast.  He was so wiped out

  Today was another long day followed by a long night.  I couldn't sleep for whatever reason (whoever knows what keeps my brain active long past I need to be asleep!?).  Dad did well last night.  He never got sick.  He said he had a few seconds of feeling a little nauseous and thought about taking a nausea pill, but then it passed.  That's wonderful! He and I were both up before 6 a.m.  I was sleeping but heard him up and so I just got up.  We got ready for the day and went to the kitchen here at the House and got some coffee and breakfast and brought it back here to the room.  I couldn't find any paper bowls down there so I gave dad the only single-serve oatmeal in a cup that I could find.  He had toast and jelly, a small Sunny D container, the oatmeal and a cup of coffee.  I only had 4 pieces of toast and coffee.  Still, it was free and we are grateful! After eating, we both went back to sleep for a little bit.  This time I slept in the recliner which was really good!  We